PURPLE CITIES NEWS & BLOG
From our friend Norm MacNamara:
Pushing My Luck
So, I said to Elaine, we drive up next Tuesday night, stay over, speak, then stay Wednesday night, travel and , speak, stay over and then speak in Birmingham??
NOOOOOOOOO !!!!!! Elaine said, She wanted to scream, I could tell, but she didn’t, for the 11th time she tried to explain to me what we are doing next week, it was right there, written in front of me on a piece of paper, and still I couldn’t see it or understand it.
What can you see that I can’t!! I demanded!! “I have dementia, I am not stupid!! I added quickly, please don’t patronise me. “I`m not “Elaine says, it’s just that you’re getting confused.
Well, talk about a red rag to a bull??
CONFUSED?? CONFUSED?? I shouted!! How dare you!! I can quite plainly see what that says and I cannot understand why you’re having trouble reading it properly. I was shaking with frustration and beginning to get really upset, my mind was in torment as the information on this piece of paper jumped out at me and made total sense to me, Then I glanced very quickly at Elaine, wanting and needing her to say “yes your right darling” but she didn’t, instead, she just put her arms around me, told me not to worry about it and we would look at it later. She had distracted me and I went on with my business on the computer, I started to calm down, my breathing went back to normal, and I could feel my face cool down as it probably turned from Crimson red to its normal colour. Half an hour later, I looked at the same piece of paper, and as you may have guessed by now, it was me who WAS confused, certainly not Elaine. What I saw then and what I was looking at now were two totally different things, to say I HATE this disease is the Understatement of the year.
This disease is not just about forgetting things, but in certain types of dementia , like mine, Lewy body’s, it can make you see things that aren’t there, read writing that isn’t what’s written, and talk about things that may never have happened. I am getting progressively worse, and that’s a fact. I am coming up to my 8th year now and for the last few months I have felt as if I am pushing my luck, but PUSH IT I will , for as long as possible, and when I run out of luck I hope you, my dear friends, carry on pushing the same luck until we win
Much love and tons of respect to all, Norrms and a very understanding “ANGEL” Elaine
Diagnosed with Dementia aged just 50 yrs old,
7 yrs ago now